Sunday, September 30, 2007 A

"Pensive Julia"
11:59am


Pensive Julia with back lighting

Julia and I were sitting on the sofa, and I thought to grab the sketchbook while we were talking.

Sunday, September 30, 2007 B

"Visit Exotic Places"
3:50pm


(My 'subconscious' doesn't have a perspective problem, that table is reverse _L_ shaped!)

I hope to color this soon...

Sunday, September 30, 2007 C

"Visit Colorful Exotic Places"
9:32pm

Tuesday, October 2, 2007 C

"Regrets?"
6:30am

I wake this morning thinking of the answer I gave to the classic question, "If you died tomorrow, what would you regret most?" As I recall my answer, Frank Sinatra is singing in my mind.

As I think about this question, I have only one regret: I wouldn't know how good I might have gotten as an artist. I might wish I'd of started earlier to get serious about my art. After all, I turn forty nine this year, and some people think themselves old at that age. (I don't!) But still, that's a few years gone by. But I've known love, loved deeply and been loved in return. I've had much joy.

And I don't want to waste a moment thinking about "what if's". That line, "Life is a Moment" stays with me. I just try moment to moment to be as fully conscious as I can. Even if it's small things, like noticing the environment around me, for I am not being robotic then. At other times, I just try to do what is calling me the most. Okay, I'm easily distractable, I start books and do not finish them, etc. etc. But I remember a quote from somewhere, "Live like you were going to die tomorrow, learn like you have forever." Why this means much to me is I can be so impatient to know answers to the mysteries. That's a good prod if it keeps us awake and questing. But if it gets to a panicky "What if I'll never learn ____ in time," then it is counterproductive.

So I just try to make the most of _this moment now_, and moment by moment, that's been adding up to a very rich life.

Back to Frankie:

"Regrets, Ive had a few;
But then again, too few to mention...."

Well, I've just mentioned, but in forty nine years, that amounts to 'few'...

"But more, much more than this,
I did it my way...."

Unlike Frank, sometimes I've been 'shy'. But sometimes I've been 'bold'. And yes, always, I've done it 'my way':

"For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!"

Well, I'm hoping 'no blows', but I think 'the record', (this journal 'record' I am making), definitely shows I'm doing it 'my way'.

Here's to however many moments we have in the future. Let's enjoy each of them to the fullest!

Wednesday, October 3, 2007 C

"Visit Exotic Places - Print"
5:22am

I looked to see if 10x12 frames were available. They weren't, so I made a version for 11x14 print:


Yes, it's
available in prints!

Thursday, October 4, 2007 A

"Remembering a Colorful Place"
7:14pm


Building we passed on the way to the DC metro...


Close up of one of those flowers...

I don't know as Washington D.C. would count as 'exotic', but for me, it was fascinating. I have many pictures yet that I might share.

Thursday, October 4, 2007 B

"Sensible Awareness"
7:37pm


A beautiful, green garden...


Closer still underneath...

Work is crazy right now, and there's no getting away from it now. It will be a while before I see Saturdays off. During this time, I like to return to my trip photo albums and remember being away, being there, the full sensory experience of our trip there.

Here's another photo from our DC trip. This is a view of George Washington University, which is right next to the Foggy Bottom metro station. If you'd like an even clearer view of what the fence says, look underneath the picture. "Seek truth and pursue it steadily" is what George Washington said in a letter to Edmund Randolph, July 31, 1795. That's certainly good advice.

I began the work day pondering how I would define various truths, but my mind got quickly distracted by machines that were acting up. My sewing machine made a strange grinding sound. I fixed it somewhat when I loosened the screw on a metal plate that was holding it too close to the bobbin winder wheel. The thread tension was bad, bobbins ran out, and I felt myself growing crankier by the minute. I am so overbooked (due to circumstances not under my control) and my machine wasn't being cooperative. I grew crankier. Then in the middle of this grump, the machine fell silent, the radio fell silent and the shop grew dark.

But instead of getting madder, I laughed. It was suddenly ludicrous. And I had an epiphany.

There are a lot of things in life that are just not under our control. Here I am, thinking I am a rather magical person, thinking this means I can control (or could control, if I had proper skill) everything. But it's just not so. There are things outside of our control.

I was amused as I thought of my electricity less situation. I thought of the Egyptian pantheon, and the One with the electrical 'juice'.


God of lightening and storms means God of electricity...

Okay, the ancients may not have known about electricity. But they had a fair idea of Power. No power, and my sewing machine could not run. So, knowing I had no time to waste, I did other tasks such as preparing pieces and doing hand sewing. The juice was off for an hour. I grew hotter and hotter on this day which reached 100°. (What happened to autumn?)

Yet a welcome peacefulness of spirit was with me, that hadn't been there earlier. I thought of that old Serenity prayer, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Well, the only deity that is going to do that is my Higher Self (aka 'Holy Guardian Angel') who is always there within me, to give wisdom if I take the time to listen. That wisdom is what grants the serenity.

I can get so lost in the mundane that sometimes it takes a thunderbolt, or its opposite - a 'power outage', to jolt me into sensible awareness.

An hour later, when cool air began streaming from the AC vents, and music began streaming from the radio and my machine began loudly humming, I felt joyful relief. The rest of the day, even though chaotically busy, went well. What had really changed was my attitude.

*   *   *

Another sort of sensible awareness happened later this day. Or should I say 'cents-able' awareness? Julia and I were at the water machines, filling our water bottles. The machine refused one of our dimes and spat it out on the ground. Julia, alert to such possibility, said the reason for refusal could be the coin was pure silver.

A squinty near sighted look, and yes, it is pure silver (Julia corrected me, 90% silver):


The torch, olive branch, and oak branch symbolize, respectively, liberty, peace, and victory
(Wikipedia has more about the dime)

Not only that, it happens to be from 1952, which is the year Julia was born. Both of us like to think of this coin as a good omen. Is that a form of delusional thinking, to ascribe meanings and signs to random events? Still it is a nice bit of synchronicity that the rare silver dime happens to be from Julia's birth year.

Friday, October 5, 2007 A

"Sensible Breakfast"
7:13am


Breakfast that Julia made for me... (omelet has spinach in it!)

Yes, I eat at the computer, and the flower comes from the monitor reflection.
(This picture inspired by the Friday Foto theme of "Wholesome")

Friday, October 5, 2007 B

"Lesson"
8:23pm

The Classical Mythology course from the Teaching Company has arrived. We listened to the introductory lession earlier. Then I got the itch to draw. The teacher, Elizabeth Vandiver, has a good speaking style, clear and not too fast. So I am optimistic. That last teacher we had on Ancient Near East spoke kind of fast, and I had to listen closely to follow him. But some of what he taught stayed with me. I was able to better understand an article in the KMT magazine on Thutmose III's 8th Campaign Across the Euphrates, thanks to that course.

Saturday, October 6, 2007 A

"Very Good Balance"
6:45pm

Saturday, October 6, 2007 B

"Colorful Balance"
10:12pm

Oh, balance! The monkey-elephant balances a cup of tea on his back. Animal abuse? Or some emanation of Thoth-Ganesh? Meanwhile, I realized another weird synchroncity for the silver dime. Earlier this month, when Julia changed the calender page to October, she wrote on it "double nickel day", for October 18th, she turns 55:

Do I have to say that two 5-cent nickles make a 'dime', 10 cents?
(That is from the Audubon Songbird Calender....)

Sunday, October 7, 2007 A

"Elephant Balancing"
11:16am

I drew my hybrid monkey/elephant yesterday, balancing something on his back. Today we watched the CBS Sunday morning show, which featured a segment of Dulary, an elephant who got to leave the Philadelphia zoo and go to a elephant sanctuary. I wanted to see if I could find the online video of that piece. I couldn't, but I did find a cute slideshow of Dulary doing a balancing act of placing a small rock on her head and walking around with it!



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