Arles, June 27, 1888
"I have sometimes worked excessively fast; is that a fault? I can't help it.... Isn't it rather intensity of thought than calmness of touch that we're looking for—and in the given circumstances of impulsive work on the spot and from life, is a calm and controlled touch always possible? Well—it seems to me—no more than fencing moves during an attack."

Yes, I feel that as I make a quick sketch, yesterday's leopard, for instance. Do I in this way capture a bit of the 'leopard's energy', somewhat held in by his restive pose, but always there, always ready to leap? It's a balance of 'intensity of thought' and 'calmness of touch' overall, but in each piece, though, more one than the other.

Later, he tells Bernard:
"I want to do figures, figures and more figures, it's stronger than me, this series of bipeds from the baby to Socrates and from the black-haired woman with white skin to the woman with yellow hair and a sunburnt face the color of brick.

Meanwhile, I mostly do other things...."

Nevertheless, he urges Bernard:

Arles, c. October 5, 1888
"I really urge you to study the portrait; make as many as possible and don't give up—later we'll have to attract the public through portraits—in my view that's where the future lies...."

Yes, he did do quite a lot of landscapes. Apparently, it was a case of 'do as I say, not as I do' in his letters. Also, it was a struggle between imagination and observation. I think it shows, ear chopping crazy or not, most artists have pretty much the same concerns. Meanwhile, I do figures, crazy figures, sketchy figures, badly proportioned figures, but maybe a few that truly have life. I'll keep practicing...

Tuesday, February 12, 2008 B

"A Drawing That Came to Me"
10:50pm

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

"Have a 'Happy Day'"
7:35pm

Have a 'Happy Day', whatever day this is!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

"Happiness Marred"
10:12pm

It's just a short note tonight. Julia and I don't do anything unusual on 'the day'. I'm not too in favor of the Valentine's day if that's the only day couples are nice to each other. We favor appreciation on all 365 days. We'll likely eat out and go to a movie this weekend, (as we often do on most weekends).

I did, however, seek more hugs than usual today, and with good reason. This morning around 7:00pm, a strong sense of terror hit me. I am well enough acquainted with myself that I knew this sense of dread was coming from something externally based. I thought perhaps I was sensing the predicted 7.0 earthquake in northern Mexico. Through out the day, I tried to be aware of any possible tremors. None occurred.

But when we came home, horrible news greeted us on the TV. A shooter had opened fire on the Northern Illinois University campus today. I was deeply saddened last year when thirty two Virginia Tech students were slain. But this was different, for this tragedy occurred in the university _I_ went to and graduated from, back in 1981. This was on MY TURF! Julia held me as I cried.

Now, I check their website to learn the latest announcements:

2/14/08, 6:50 p.m.
"At approximately 3 p.m. Thursday, February 14, 2008, a gunman, carrying one shotgun and two handguns, opened fire in Cole Hall on the campus of Northern Illinois University in DeKalb.

NIU Police officers were on the scene in less than two minutes and the gunman was found dead of a self-inflicted gunshot wound a short time later. Police have not released the identity of the gunman. At this time, there is no known motive."

Later, they reported:

8:55 p.m. CST, 2/14/08
NIU can confirm six fatalities, including the gunman. Four of the dead were female and two, including the gunman, were male. In total, there were 22 injured or killed.

NIU can confirm that the shooter was an NIU graduate student in sociology in the Spring of 2007 but was not currently enrolled.

Even a 7.0 earthquake in northern Mexico would not send the shockwaves through me that this sad event did. My heart goes out to the victims' loved ones.